Today is the 31st, the last day of the Month.
Today I awoke in a state of fright, the drowning feeling over
came me. I ask if it is anxiety? Is it a symptom of my conditon?
The cats are running over my body meowing as they are hungry
and looking for me to feed them.
Today I wonder as the Wicked Witch of the West once told me, will I find
that psychic energy I steal from others. A Psychic Vampire am I?.
I look around and ask myself; why I should will myself to force my legs
to raise and move about. Why should I try to remember what day it is?
I give hope and there is no response, it is as if I am and others are the walking dead.
The doc says that my well-being is deteriorating and I will no longer be
able to walk, talk or think as this disease ravages my body.
Am I to live in the dark, be sad, tear my hair out and think of
ending it all.
Am I to live in the light, be happy, make others smile and give
I expose my vulnerability, the light and dark of my soul, my personality for all to judge.
I am one of the invisible angels of a community that lately does not welcome the
weak, ill or disabled or they judged too quickly on false rumors.
No honesty, no communication, only whispers, and no truth.
No Hope, so today I turn my head and close my eyes and
maybe tomorrow I will myself to face my rose-coloured reality
and find the strength to give again.